Cold-Blooded Kindness: Neuroquirks of a Codependent Killer, by David Sloan Wilson, Barbara Oakley

By David Sloan Wilson, Barbara Oakley

During this searing exploration of lethal codependency, the writer takes the reader on a spellbinding voyage of discovery that examines the questions: Are a few humans certainly too being concerned? Is being concerned occasionally a masks for darker explanations? Can technological know-how aid us know the way our issues for others can damage every thing we carry pricey? This gripping tale brings remarkable perception to our inner most questions. Is kindness constantly the perfect resolution? Is kindness continuously what it seems?

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Additional info for Cold-Blooded Kindness: Neuroquirks of a Codependent Killer, or Just Give Me a Shot at Loving You, Dear, and Other Reflections on Helping That Hurts

Sample text

It allows us to present a story or narrative frame that the other may not share but can nevertheless negotiate and interact with, so that we can do things together as a result. To achieve this reframing, we must in essence eschew any fi nal explanation and agree to set aside broad, inclusive, and generalized explanations of the other, even those that accord with our existing, taken-for-granted understandings of the world. And while none of us question our own belonging to meaning-giving communities (which could be Jewish, Muslim, Christian, secular-humanist, or something else), our shared environment and time together forces us to bracket out or tentatively suspend the types of explanations and ideas (precisely those interpretive frames around experience) that these communal memberships so often provide.

Despite all the dangers that arise from these communities, we cannot live without them. The dangers are well A Pedagogy of Community 45 known, and different moral visions, as well as different historical memories and senses of belonging, can lead to a deep sense of distrust and enmity that can span generations, even millennia. The relations between Jews and Christians in Europe provide a tragic and telling example of how divergent historical narratives and a sense of group membership have divided people who nevertheless carried out economic and civil exchange in a shared public space for centuries.

Some even came to appreciate the distance that at least one Protestant participant felt from a ritual that included all and, hence, seemed to belie the very purpose of ritual action. White participants could begin to understand the feelings of the Zimbabwean priest on being told he might be asked to leave the Orthodox church, and Israelis and Palestinians began to see how their own previous experiences made it virtually impossible to understand the plain meaning of the day’s unfolding events (the deputy chief’s absence).

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